Dating as a single parent

Let’s face it most of us want to have that person who we love and share adventures with. As much as we love our children it’s not quite the same as adult company. Ok it’s nothing like adult company.

Question is how do we date when we have children and there is no other parent? Well it’s complicated to be honest. I have a 30 month old and well I love her to pieces however I would like to date someone. Thing is if I do want to date I then need to find a sitter and usually it’s my parents as I don’t have a childminder that I can trust. Especially at night time. This can get difficult if you want to continue dating and trying to get your parents to keep having your child, which in my case becomes an issue.

Next you have to try and turn off mummy mode and turn into single adult mode which is not the easiest of things to do. We want to check our phones incase something has happened or bring their names into every sentence. We can’t help it we adore our children and they are in our lives 24/7 so how can they suddenly not be in our thoughts. It’s trying to find someone who understands this. People might think o well maybe your not ready to date? No actually I am a mum and that doesn’t change wherever I am. When they say children are part of the package we mean it. We can’t just drop them at any time. Does this mean you won’t get anytime with me? Of course you would it’s call making time and making it work.

What I can’t stand is not acknowledging my child at all. I’m not saying let’s spend the whole date talking about them but at least acknowledge I have a child and so my interests and hobbies might not be as exciting and staying out until 4am every weekend. Also if I want to go to bed at 9pm I will, I’m bloody exhausted! And there is a strong possibility she will wake in the night. I can’t afford to go to bed late every night or i will burn out.

Introducing your child…. well this is a tricky one. If your lucky enough to find someone who loves kids or has kids this isn’t that difficult to be honest as they are more likely to say they can’t wait to meet them so it takes a lot of stress out the situation. However if you have a child like mine I’ve learnt to hold it out. She gets really attached quickly so without being negative if it doesn’t work out then it can cause upset for your child. Maybe give it a couple months see how it goes first.

Sometimes I feel that people think single parents shouldn’t date because it’s too complicated or they don’t want to be the other parent to the child. If you feel that way then don’t date someone in this situation. Simple as that! It’s really hard for us to find someone. Not only are we looking for the person of our dreams but we also have to look for someone who is going to be loving and caring towards our children. Add being Vegan on top and it makes it even more complicated haha. On a serious note to all single parents… you deserve to find happiness and have those exciting adventures with someone. They do need to be on board that you have a child. If they aren’t don’t waste your time they aren’t right for you. Most of all just enjoy it. Enjoy the adult company and conversation. Have fun!

Be caring to yourself xx

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