Waiting for the good to happen…

I’ve always struggled with seeing the positive in life. My mother got cancer when I was 15 and it hit me like a brick wall. I then had some tough years with my identity and then some rather poor relationship choices.

My mother is a worrier. Unfortunately this has been passed on to me, even more so when my mum was ill. So how do we get out of this negative rut?

About a month ago after 15 years of being clear from cancer my poor mum got diagnosed again with secondary cancer. This news took me back to being a 15 year old teenager. I’m pretty sure it’s still not hitting me. A part of me just isn’t allowing it to hit me because I know the effects it will have.

A couple of weeks ago I had some good and unexpected news about a house I’ve been waiting for. I’ve been so busy with planning it all that I’ve been able to control my feelings with my mum. Yes she is still very poorly and it’s really upsetting but I’m not on the floor crying. This has made me question my whole worrying and negative process I put myself through all the time.

Maybe if I were to think more about the fact something exciting is going to happen than waiting for the negative I might be able to get through life just that little bit better.

For those of you that are in this negative battle try and focus on something that could be in your reach. Whether it is a new job, a treat for yourself or just having a day without your anxiety. It could be the difference between being on antidepressants and being able to cope by yourself.

Take care of yourself, be positive xx

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