Where has the time gone!

I started a new job this week working part time over 4 days. My daughter who is 3 goes to nursery while I am at work.

I have to say being a single parent to a toddler while working a pretty busy job is very tiring and time consuming.

My day currently is from about 7am If I’m lucky to about 7pm. This doesn’t include the times I’m woke up every single night. Luckily my little one is not too bad behaved at the moment at least haha.

So before it was busy with my daughter however at least when I was at home with her I could get some jobs done at the same time. Today I dropped her off at nursery, went to work, did a food shop,picked her up made dinner and it went on and on 🤣

I was making dinner and staring at the washing up from the day and thought omg it never ends haha. Not only that where has the time gone. My day just disappeared. I landed up washing up,drying up and sweeping my downstairs all while dinner was cooking as I really couldn’t see another opportunity if I wanted to at least relax for a little bit.

I do receive benefits and I am grateful for this I really am it means I have a house for my daughter and I. However now she is 3 and I am working I can’t help feel that some people don’t understand how hard it is for single parents that have no support at all. It’s 7 days a week 365 days a year non stop. No days off just keep going and going. I love being a parent however hearing people complain about the fact they didn’t do anything at the weekend does make me laugh. I don’t even remember what it feels like to sit on a Saturday afternoon and just peacefully watch a movie or something.

I have always prioritised my time because if I didn’t I’m not actually sure how I would cope to be honest. My house would be a mess, I would be a mess and well my child wouldn’t have the support she deserves.

What I’m trying to say is if you have a friend or family member that you know is by themselves with children and they are non stop maybe offer some support. Any little thing can be a huge help for someone like me! To all those mums and dads in the same position your are superheros!

Be kind and caring xx

How to survive the terrible twos!

For those of you who don’t have kids, this is an actual thing! You have these little babies who yes cry and need to be held a lot and then they start to move and walk or run and everything you knew you now don’t know.

My what was quiet house is now a daily shout and scream zone with hints of attitude and melt downs haha. Yes I’m laughing because if you don’t it will be you having the melt down.

I’m a single parent to a two year old girl. She is the most amazing little diva who is full of life and laughter but my god she can have a stand down! That’s right it’s like having a teenager already! It’s exhausting trying to be this amazing parent who tries their hardest to parent by those self help books we all purchase. At the end of the day you do what you can to survive when your on your own. I don’t have the middle of the night support from a partner so I have to just have her in bed with me when it comes to her waking up or I will literally look like a zombie the next day. This won’t help the being single part!

When you aren’t part of a tag team you have to just try and keep the peace in the house or let’s be honest life just won’t be enjoyable and we will all have a 24/7 migraine. Lately my little one is learning to share her things which it isn’t easy and I understand that and try explain it to her. Her reaction is quite different and just tantrums her way out of it or just ignores me completely haha. I’ve done my best though I’ve tried to teach her the way of life and if she isn’t listening to that well there isn’t much I can do? So I’ve learnt to just give myself a break from feeling so bad about it all. We can’t force them to do things especially at 2 years old. We have to accept that in time these things will come into place.

I took my little one to a playground the other day and she was upset as she doesn’t understand that everyone can go on the play equipment she thinks only she can go on it. I tried to explain and help her be confident but about 20 minutes later I said let’s go home so we did. However the whole journey home she was shouting in the car that she didn’t get to go on the playground. Now this is when you grit your teeth and smile it off haha. They just don’t understand yet and it’s frustrating for you because you don’t have anyone to help you with this. While I was on the walk I actually noticed a couple with their child. Same age as mine probably. The child wasn’t listening to them. The mum kept trying to explain and then the dad came over and said the same thing and helped the mum. It’s so hard being a single mum in these situations because you feel like your fighting a loosing battle!

It is so important that we don’t judge each other as parents as every situation is different and we all have our struggles even if your a couple. The thing to note is that if you are alone and your really trying but you feel it’s not getting anywhere, IT’S OK! It will get better but for now give yourself a break. Raising a child is the most wonderful yet difficult thing you will ever do. There will be ups and downs but if your kids know your there for them and love them well that’s enough for now.

Be caring to yourself xx

PMS & Anxiety

This post is mostly for women however it wouldn’t hurt for men to have a greater understanding of this topic!

What is PMS?

Premenstrual syndrome is a whole load of symptoms women experience before they get their period. Now most women think that they only get symptoms when they are actually having their period and bleeding. Actually the women’s menstrual cycle is usually estimated at around 28 days give or take. During this time from day one the body is constantly changing due to our hormone levels of Estrogen and Progesterone.

So what symptoms can we experience leading up to our period?

  1. Tiredness! Now this one hits me at about 10-14 days before my period and OMG I feel exhausted from it!
  2. Irritable mood. Yes that is the one everyone associates with PMS. This symptom however can really affect a person especially if they have to face a bunch of annoying people at work or are in a relationship.
  3. Headaches. I never used to get headaches at all however since having my daughter they are a monthly joy! NOT. Obviously after having a baby my hormone balance has changed.
  4. Acne and oily hair. YES another lovely symptom women have to endure. I have learnt that closer to my period usually the second half of my cycle I use a lot less conditioner to help with the oils in my hair. I also use a charcoal and tea tree soap for my face which has really helped.
  5. Bloating. Just to add to the feelings we already have with our bodies we tend to get bloated and it can be really uncomfortable.
  6. ANXIETY! So for those who already suffer from daily anxiety this symptom is really really shitty. Everything becomes really overwhelming, you want to hide away, see know one and decision making just shouldn’t happen at all.
  7. Breast tenderness. Well don’t think I need to explain this one ladies…
  8. Nausea. This is a new symptom for me and I usually have it the night before I’m due to start my period.

How can we help ourselves during our cycle?

Vitamins- I have recently started making sure I am taking all the vitamins I need along side a healthy diet. B6 and Magnesium are a must. As well as iron to help replenish yourself after bleeding.

Medicinal – Ashwanganda- Good for reducing anxiety, stress and depression.

Agnus Castus- Used to relieve symptoms of PMS

Exercise- The week before your due your period maybe do low intensity exercise like Yin Yoga. Know one wants to plan a 10k run when we all feel like crap!

Meditation- This can help those who are naturally more anxious. Just to calm the body down more.

Making plans- Maybe not make big plans or parties on the week or two leading up to your period so you don’t have that extra stress.

Self Care- Have a nice Epsom salt bath, light some candles, watch a comedy, read a book or have a massage. Take this time for yourself it is really important.

Follow your Cycle- There are lots of free apps out there which can help you follow your cycle. You can also add notes if you are trying to get more in touch with your symptoms. It is also handy to follow when you are ovulating as this creates other symptoms and our hormones change at this point of our cycle so you might see a mood dip here.

Finally share this all with your partner if you have one. They need to know what happens in your cycle and how it affects you.

PMDD (Prementrual dysphoric disorder) is a more severe form of PMS and should really be discussed with a doctor if you believe you suffer from this.

Here is a Link on Cyclical Living by Chloe Burcham. It is a really interesting article on how we can live our lives by our menstrual cycle. https://www.byrdie.com/what-is-cyclical-living

I always thought something was really wrong with me because I get all of these feelings and symptoms until I became more aware of PMS. It is usually something people joke about when someone is in a mood. To me it effects my life a lot and adds to my anxiety. Now I know more about the subject I have taken more time to self care and generally just give myself a bit of a break emotionally. Our bodies go through so much during our monthly cycle and many of us are just not aware of it. So next time someone jokes about you having PMS you are more than welcome to tell them to shove it somewhere!

P.S Be caring to yourself! xx

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