I started a new job this week working part time over 4 days. My daughter who is 3 goes to nursery while I am at work.
I have to say being a single parent to a toddler while working a pretty busy job is very tiring and time consuming.
My day currently is from about 7am If I’m lucky to about 7pm. This doesn’t include the times I’m woke up every single night. Luckily my little one is not too bad behaved at the moment at least haha.
So before it was busy with my daughter however at least when I was at home with her I could get some jobs done at the same time. Today I dropped her off at nursery, went to work, did a food shop,picked her up made dinner and it went on and on 🤣
I was making dinner and staring at the washing up from the day and thought omg it never ends haha. Not only that where has the time gone. My day just disappeared. I landed up washing up,drying up and sweeping my downstairs all while dinner was cooking as I really couldn’t see another opportunity if I wanted to at least relax for a little bit.
I do receive benefits and I am grateful for this I really am it means I have a house for my daughter and I. However now she is 3 and I am working I can’t help feel that some people don’t understand how hard it is for single parents that have no support at all. It’s 7 days a week 365 days a year non stop. No days off just keep going and going. I love being a parent however hearing people complain about the fact they didn’t do anything at the weekend does make me laugh. I don’t even remember what it feels like to sit on a Saturday afternoon and just peacefully watch a movie or something.
I have always prioritised my time because if I didn’t I’m not actually sure how I would cope to be honest. My house would be a mess, I would be a mess and well my child wouldn’t have the support she deserves.
What I’m trying to say is if you have a friend or family member that you know is by themselves with children and they are non stop maybe offer some support. Any little thing can be a huge help for someone like me! To all those mums and dads in the same position your are superheros!
Let’s face it most of us want to have that person who we love and share adventures with. As much as we love our children it’s not quite the same as adult company. Ok it’s nothing like adult company.
Question is how do we date when we have children and there is no other parent? Well it’s complicated to be honest. I have a 30 month old and well I love her to pieces however I would like to date someone. Thing is if I do want to date I then need to find a sitter and usually it’s my parents as I don’t have a childminder that I can trust. Especially at night time. This can get difficult if you want to continue dating and trying to get your parents to keep having your child, which in my case becomes an issue.
Next you have to try and turn off mummy mode and turn into single adult mode which is not the easiest of things to do. We want to check our phones incase something has happened or bring their names into every sentence. We can’t help it we adore our children and they are in our lives 24/7 so how can they suddenly not be in our thoughts. It’s trying to find someone who understands this. People might think o well maybe your not ready to date? No actually I am a mum and that doesn’t change wherever I am. When they say children are part of the package we mean it. We can’t just drop them at any time. Does this mean you won’t get anytime with me? Of course you would it’s call making time and making it work.
What I can’t stand is not acknowledging my child at all. I’m not saying let’s spend the whole date talking about them but at least acknowledge I have a child and so my interests and hobbies might not be as exciting and staying out until 4am every weekend. Also if I want to go to bed at 9pm I will, I’m bloody exhausted! And there is a strong possibility she will wake in the night. I can’t afford to go to bed late every night or i will burn out.
Introducing your child…. well this is a tricky one. If your lucky enough to find someone who loves kids or has kids this isn’t that difficult to be honest as they are more likely to say they can’t wait to meet them so it takes a lot of stress out the situation. However if you have a child like mine I’ve learnt to hold it out. She gets really attached quickly so without being negative if it doesn’t work out then it can cause upset for your child. Maybe give it a couple months see how it goes first.
Sometimes I feel that people think single parents shouldn’t date because it’s too complicated or they don’t want to be the other parent to the child. If you feel that way then don’t date someone in this situation. Simple as that! It’s really hard for us to find someone. Not only are we looking for the person of our dreams but we also have to look for someone who is going to be loving and caring towards our children. Add being Vegan on top and it makes it even more complicated haha. On a serious note to all single parents… you deserve to find happiness and have those exciting adventures with someone. They do need to be on board that you have a child. If they aren’t don’t waste your time they aren’t right for you. Most of all just enjoy it. Enjoy the adult company and conversation. Have fun!