I started a new job this week working part time over 4 days. My daughter who is 3 goes to nursery while I am at work.
I have to say being a single parent to a toddler while working a pretty busy job is very tiring and time consuming.
My day currently is from about 7am If I’m lucky to about 7pm. This doesn’t include the times I’m woke up every single night. Luckily my little one is not too bad behaved at the moment at least haha.
So before it was busy with my daughter however at least when I was at home with her I could get some jobs done at the same time. Today I dropped her off at nursery, went to work, did a food shop,picked her up made dinner and it went on and on 🤣
I was making dinner and staring at the washing up from the day and thought omg it never ends haha. Not only that where has the time gone. My day just disappeared. I landed up washing up,drying up and sweeping my downstairs all while dinner was cooking as I really couldn’t see another opportunity if I wanted to at least relax for a little bit.
I do receive benefits and I am grateful for this I really am it means I have a house for my daughter and I. However now she is 3 and I am working I can’t help feel that some people don’t understand how hard it is for single parents that have no support at all. It’s 7 days a week 365 days a year non stop. No days off just keep going and going. I love being a parent however hearing people complain about the fact they didn’t do anything at the weekend does make me laugh. I don’t even remember what it feels like to sit on a Saturday afternoon and just peacefully watch a movie or something.
I have always prioritised my time because if I didn’t I’m not actually sure how I would cope to be honest. My house would be a mess, I would be a mess and well my child wouldn’t have the support she deserves.
What I’m trying to say is if you have a friend or family member that you know is by themselves with children and they are non stop maybe offer some support. Any little thing can be a huge help for someone like me! To all those mums and dads in the same position your are superheros!
I am a person who likes a routine of some sort. By this I mean I generally get up in the morning and get ready, have breakfast and get my daughter ready at the same time.
I find being organised helps me to feel less overwhelmed and a little more in control. Even preparing clothes for the next day can take that 10 minutes of deciding away.
So knowing I like routine I have always been pretty strict with creating a good one for my daughter. From morning to night we both know what will happen in certain times of the day and this way she is never surprised when I’m saying it’s bedtime.
In the morning we always do the boring task of getting dressed first and going to the toilet. I think most adults do this one without noticing. We then have breakfast together and then teeth brushing before the day begins. I let her have a choice of breakfast, that isn’t part of a routine. However she still has her soya drink. Same goes for lunch and dinner. I give her a couple of options to choose from.
Now we also have routine of leaving the house. Let’s face it when you have a two year old, a hyper dog and bags to get out the house it can be rather stressful. So I normally get things ready before I start calling everyone. I get my own coat on first then My daughter while my dog I put outside if it’s dry because she will knock my child over out of excitement bless her. I find this works best.
The most important of all is the routine we have at bedtime. Now there may be some of you that don’t really stick to a time. However I have since I can remember and I find it helpful for both of us. My daughter doesn’t nap in the daytime so her bedtime is quite early at about 6pm. We have dinner before hand, then a bath and then straight to bed. I lay out her pjs and anything else she needs while the bath is running so I’m not trying to find her teddy she sleeps with while she is meant to be sleeping. I never read with her in bedtime routine as I feel it just excites her and wakes her up. I then lie her down, give her a kiss and that’s it. She knows I’ll always come to her if she needs me as I have since birth. I wasn’t a parent that let their child cry I’ve always cuddled her to sleep when she was very small and I believe this has given her the confidence and security that she needs.
Routine has been such a big part of raising my daughter and I will always stick to it. It gives reassurance to my daughter and it takes away stressful situations that can lead to those arguments. Also if the child knows how it is they are less likely to play up and ask for something else that adds another 30 minutes to your evening.
Have a think about some stressful times you have with your child and maybe start to incorporate a routine. Even the smallest change can make a huge difference to both your lives.